Things I Want My Son To Learn

Even though he's only 16 months old, I sometimes get glimpses of the man T will become.  The curve of his shoulders that are just like his dad's, the hint of muscle tone in a chubby thigh, the flare of a temper, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners so that you can tell that he's smiling even when you're looking at the back of his head from a 45 degree angle.  These hints of the physical make me wonder about T, the adult.  What will he take away from his childhood and what will the man be like?




Honestly, I want him to look back and think "Boy, my mom was fun! That old broad and I had some good times!" I want him to remember us dancing in the kitchen and building forts with blankets and pillows in the living room.  I want him to remember jumping in the puddles, running through the leaves, sledding in the snow and swimming in the ocean.  I want him to think back to cozy Christmases and hot summers with a large and loving family all around.  I want him to recall warm hugs around his neck and cool lips on his forehead.  Snuggling and cuddling and feeling safe.

It sounds nice, doesn't it?  Ideal, even. Though, I admit, it's all a bit unicorns and rainbows.  But not to fear, I do have substance in mind.

I hope that the future T will be kind-hearted and fair with an instinctive sense of right and wrong.  I hope he is confident but not cocky, focused but not narrow-minded, sensitive yet strong, sweet, but not a pushover.  Of course he should be polite and well-mannered, with a sincere smile.  I want him to be ambitious, but to always remember that though others may have more than him, he is incredibly fortunate in life.  And I hope he will always try to help those less fortunate whenever he can.  I want him to be trustworthy and to trust others completely.  I want him to be able to acknowledge his faults and try to overcome them with enthusiasm and purpose.  I want him to love confidently and with all of his heart and to accept love given to him with grace.

But perhaps most idealistically, I want him to be blissfully unaware that he is becoming this most incredible man.  I want him to emerge from childhood with his flawless ethics and perfect sense of self already intact, unaware that he had been learning how to treat himself and how to treat others all along.  That these lessons had been whispered into his ear while he was happily at play.  That his little brain was absorbing knowledge at the same time his little heart was absorbing love.

I hope I'm not setting the bar too high - either for T or for myself.  But even though he's only 16 months, T is constantly amazing me and I can honestly say that there's no way he can disappoint me.  Besides, one of the most important lessons I've learned so far is to never underestimate the power of a child.